Ok this time we're going to look at the movie Goth from Brain Damage Films. I had to take a moment their because the title alone pissed me off. This film has nothing to do what so ever with the word goth besides showing some people with dark hair dressing up with lipstick. Satanism 101 would be a more appropriate title or just plain Drugs, Freaks And Murder. The movie starts with Crissy and her boyfriend Boone getting dressed up to go to a "goth" club. Boone is getting some drinks and yes you guessed it what would a goth dink if you were making a movie about goths? Oh yeah, he goes to the bar and gets some absinthe. Crissy then bumps into a girl who looks like she is 100% constipated at this time. Crissy then leaves to go to the bathroom where she again see's the same chick who introduces herself as Goth which goes something like this...
What's your name I'm Goth?
Lol. So am I.
No I mean it. That's my name see. (shows Goth tattoo on chest)
Oh I am Crissy.
Wow that was painful and the film has just started. Goth then asks Crissy if she wants to do a drug that makes you feel like you had a near death experience so she is supposed to meet her in the back of the club in a couple minutes. While waiting for Goth to show up Crissy and Boone are attacked by two thugs who then get their ass's kicked by Goth who shows up and tells them if she sees them again they are dead.
Now again this is like ten minutes of the film and if you truly like torture and pain there is more to come because Goth now invites them to come hang out for the night and she will show them what Goths really do and see if they are real Goths or posers. They agree to come along and from here out Goth tells them that being a goth has three rules and you must follow them or you are not truly a goth.
The three rules are:
1. Embrace the darkness
2. Kill your fear
3. Live for death
And then she proves herself to them by picking up a random guy and raping him at knife point while he screams like a little sissy boy because he can't do the job correctly. She tells him to get it to work or lose it.
She then takes Crissy and Boone to a massage parlor with happy endings and again after beating up security and some random guys Boone has to pick a chick to have sex with. He decides even though he has the hot Crissy apparently he likes heavy set girls and we are then punished to watch a bad porn of Boone and a chick that even now as I close my eyes can see and no one should ever have to have that experience.
Fast forward and Goth kills a couple people and tells Crissy and Boone that if they don't kill and show that they are true Goths then she will kill them. The rest is pretty obvious but again save yourself and DO NOT watch this. I will give Brain Damage Films credit for the fact that naming something Goth does make anyone who is into that want to see it. But again this would be the same as calling it Country Music so country music fans would check it out because someone on the cover or trailer has a cowboy hat and a horse beside them. Then the whole movie is some redneck killing people, doing drugs and telling other rednecks that they are not truly country. Stay away people, you have been warned. If you still want to check it out then go for it.
Highlights: I know it's not much but you do get three seconds of Crissy kissing Goth, Crissy in a bra about two seconds through the film and a random naked stripper at the end.
Till next time farewell for now...
Review by Joe
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