Dr. Praetorious and his gang of vampires are feasting on the lesbian population of Ottawa. Troubled by the diminishing number of local lesbians, mohawked preacher Father Alban jumps on his scooter to enlist the help of Jesus Christ. He travels to the waterfront where he finds Jesus doing asome beach baptisms. Father Alban asks Jesus to solve this mystery and right all wrongs, when they are suddenly attacked by kung-fu fighting vampire women. Father Alban perishes in the battle, but Jesus defeats the vampires, gets on the scooter and returns to the city to help civilization once more.
In order to fit in he ditches his robe, gets a hair cut, a shave and some piercings. This makes him so happy that he breaks into song and dance as he skateboards around town and heals the crippled. He then heads to the store to pick up some wood to make stakes when he is jumped by a gang of athiests. An epic kung-fu battle ensues as Jesus kicks some non-believer ass. He then meets up with Father Eustace who tells him that many of the lesbians in his congregation are also disappearing. Eustace sets him up with an apartment, some money, and a gun-toting conspirator, Mary Magnum. They enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santos and set out on a mission to deliver us from evil.
The rest of the film is filled with kung-fu battles, dirt bike stunts, drumsticks and tooth picks used as stakes and a hairy transvestite good samaritan. We are also treated to the amazing song 'Everyone Gets Laid Tonight' by the Hammerheads during the end credits. All in all I really enjoyed Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. It's very original, entertaining and a lot of fun to watch. Check it out.
Review by Brad
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