Review by Brad
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Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Werewolf In A Women's Prison (2007)
Sarah and her boyfriend Jack are camping in the wilds of Canpuna when they are attacked by a werewolf. The creature kills Jack and bites Sarah, but fortunately for her, she manages to set the creature on fire with the expensive vodka that they had brought along which happened to contain silver flakes. She finds herself in the Canpuna Women's Prison For The Criminally Insane. The prison is run by the sadistic warden Juan and his dominatrix sidekick Rita. They sexually abuse the women and film them for their “Prison Babes Gone Wild” website. Despite all this, Sarah does manage to find a friend in Rachel, her American cellmate held in the prison on false charges.Things take a turn for the worse as the full moon approaches as Jack begins appearing to Sarah as a ghostly zombie in scenes ripping off An American Werewolf in London. Each appearance brings dire warnings of her werewolf curse and a more decayed Jack. Finally Sarah turns and from that point the film goes from softcore porn to full-on gore fest.
There are a lot of cool gore effects in the film but the werewolf looks like a villain from an episode of Power Rangers. Juan the warden was the best character in the film. He changes his accent throughout the film, going from Spanish to American to Russian. The best scene in the film involves Sarah and her cellmate Rachel being punished by getting chained topless in their panties to a boulder in the desert. As the heat rises the girls realize they can't reach the water bowl that has been provided for them so they do what anyone would do in this situation... They begin licking the sweat off of each other to survive. Werewolf In A Women's Prison is far from a classic but it is one of those "so bad it's good" films. If you enjoy copious ammounts of lesbian prison sex and extreme gore then this film is for you.
Review by Brad
Buy Werewolf In A Women's Prison on DVD
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)
Dr. Praetorious and his gang of vampires are feasting on the lesbian population of Ottawa. Troubled by the diminishing number of local lesbians, mohawked preacher Father Alban jumps on his scooter to enlist the help of Jesus Christ. He travels to the waterfront where he finds Jesus doing asome beach baptisms. Father Alban asks Jesus to solve this mystery and right all wrongs, when they are suddenly attacked by kung-fu fighting vampire women. Father Alban perishes in the battle, but Jesus defeats the vampires, gets on the scooter and returns to the city to help civilization once more.
In order to fit in he ditches his robe, gets a hair cut, a shave and some piercings. This makes him so happy that he breaks into song and dance as he skateboards around town and heals the crippled. He then heads to the store to pick up some wood to make stakes when he is jumped by a gang of athiests. An epic kung-fu battle ensues as Jesus kicks some non-believer ass. He then meets up with Father Eustace who tells him that many of the lesbians in his congregation are also disappearing. Eustace sets him up with an apartment, some money, and a gun-toting conspirator, Mary Magnum. They enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santos and set out on a mission to deliver us from evil.
The rest of the film is filled with kung-fu battles, dirt bike stunts, drumsticks and tooth picks used as stakes and a hairy transvestite good samaritan. We are also treated to the amazing song 'Everyone Gets Laid Tonight' by the Hammerheads during the end credits. All in all I really enjoyed Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. It's very original, entertaining and a lot of fun to watch. Check it out.
Review by Brad
Buy Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter on DVD
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
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